Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
