Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
