I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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