Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
