the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
