Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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