i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
