Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
