Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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