I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
