OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
that is very illegal...i love you.
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