CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
