OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
