he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
