what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
