Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
