Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
