let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
