Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I am puke
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
