And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
