**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
