note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
There are leaves in my underwear?
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