i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
