I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
