I got chris browned last night
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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