Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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