the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
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