I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
