She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Still dying that you shit outside
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
