Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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