Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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