Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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