i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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