oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
