Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
