I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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