Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
