normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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