I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
