oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
