RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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