Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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