It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Randomize
