I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
