I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
May the power of my ass compel you!!
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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