Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
