My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
