I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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