All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
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