If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
