WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I need a hoe opinion
go on
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
