i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
The air was thick with penises
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
